Babble Without a Pause

May 7, 2014

To you

Filed under: Uncategorized — rajivmathew @ 12:31 pm
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For waiting, and waiting, perhaps too patiently.

For biding your time.

For being so ambitious, it still takes my breath away.

For believing in the power of one.

For still sometimes lacking that conviction in yourself.

For wanting this all along.

For yet having had to wait so long.

For having the courage to walk away from everything you had built.

For finally, truly, seeing you were worth more.

For starting afresh.

For giving it your sleep, blood, sweat and tears. And then some.

For hearing a string of rejections.

For numbing yourself to the pain.

For all the times you spoke of aching for one chance.

For almost giving up, then not.

For waiting 30 years to see this day.

For all the times life knocked you down. Over and over.

For still standing up for one more round.

For having had to overcome far more in this life than I hope to ever have to.

For having made it through all that, for this.


YOU are my inspiration.

YOU. You are the reason I live, I love, I breathe.

I’ve longed to see this day for so long now.

To see you soar the way you once convinced me I could.

To you, today, I wish you everything.

Take all your prayers, make them mine.

Take everything you wanted to do, and set out to do it, one at a time.

That one solitary acceptance has come.

That one chance has arrived.

That one life-altering moment is here.

And it’s yours.


September 22, 2008

In HIS time :)

It had to happen …. she knew it, I knew it. Our friends knew it. Only thing was, because of a few setbacks along the way, we had begun to forget that it would. We started to doubt it would ever happen. But therein lies the beauty of faith. Of unconditional hope. Sometimes a little faith can go a long way. Way back in September last year, SHE had been offered a chance to go onsite. For whatever reasons at the time, SHE was unable to, since her visa approval didnt get done in time. The position went to a colleague of hers, DESERVING or UNDESERVING, I’m not the judge of that. For a woman this strong, this dedicated and this sincere, better things lay ahead. I knew it, never doubted it for a second and I tried everyday for the next 1 year to convince her she deserved better.

But the human spirit does stretch stronger than the flesh does, than the physical form does. And although the human spirit is the stuff of fabled legends, hers, and in a sense mine, was beginning to wear thin i felt. Yet, in the midst of an uncertain looking future, here was God throwing us a lifeline. It is all well and good to talk about faith, and the need to trust God, but when you’re at your lowest ebb, in your toughest days, sometimes it feels that bit harder to reach out and grab that lifeline. But WE did, and together, WE held on tight to that lifeline. As the days went by, the lifeline grew stronger, a symbol of a promised change, a deserved reward for a long time of toil. I’ve never missed her this much like I did in these last 2 weeks, knowing that it could so easily be the mirage we thought was an oasis so often in the past, knowing she was this close to making it happen.

The past 2 days were one of intense prayer and collective intercession. Amongst my close friends and loved ones, I asked everyone I knew to pray for the matter at hand. I’ve prayed before for things I wanted, but more so alone than in collective effort. More often than not, they were left wanting. This time though, I knew I needed more faith, more prayer and more earnesty. God answers prayer they say, and he stuck true to his word. I surprised myself in church this morning, when instead of my usual prayer, “Lord do this”, or “Lord, please help me achieve this”, I said the same prayer over and over as i sat in the front pew …. “Lord whatever be your plan for HER life, let YOUR will be done”. Maybe it was the fact that for once in my life, I realized that having brought HER, and ME this far, He wouldnt let go.

2 days of fasting brought with it a lot of hunger, but the thought of receiving that call from HER made it all worth it. At the end of it though, it was the perfect way for me to show that there were things other than food that mattered in my life. God is good ….. all the time. And today, he showed me yet another example of just WHY He is so good. Because that is the beauty of God ….. he does what he feels is best for us at that point of time in our lives.Today, He showed ME, and HER, another instance of that. HE MAKES ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL, IN HIS TIME.

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